What makes you feel like a kid again?
We've probably all heard about how important "play" is for adults. AKA, having fun in some sort of unstructured way. Forgetting about one's work and other responsibilities. Kind of like being a child again, only temporarily.
My life is very structured even though I don't have to care for anyone else besides me. Like others, I have a predictable job. For now, I guess. I cook more or less the same meals for myself because I don't need variety. My free time is booked by hobbies that are also extremely structured and/or goal-oriented. I choose specific lifting or cycling programs so that I always know which workouts I am doing. I rarely go ride my bike for pleasure. I know exactly when, where, and how I am going to practice my German or Russian. My e-reader accompanies me at specific times and places every day. I wouldn't say that I have many activities. If our calendars align, a friend and I might go for a walk at the park.
Generally, my fun is also structured. Live music is probably my biggest source of fun, something that makes life worth living. Sure, you can never know for sure what will go down at a show, and that's one of the major appeals of live music, but it's safe to say that the set almost always starts at the time listed on the ticket. Most of the time you can find out the setlist beforehand, either from other people or by visiting setlist.fm. Maybe you'll stay afterwards to buy merch or chat with the artist, but that's all. Still, the experience in and of itself is not inherently unpredictable.
So, it's safe to say that I don't actually play a lot in my life.
But one day on my most recent trip I "played" for the first time in a while. While it's true that I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to take "good" photos whenever I go on vacation, it felt effortless when I visited the Shymbulak ski resort near Almaty. Despite my afternoon arrival, the lighting just worked. There was something cinematic everywhere I turned: the serenity of a horse grazing with almost on one else in sight, families lounging in beds of flowers, a little boy picking flowers for his mother. Everyone was a character.
I wanted to scope out every corner of the mountain resort. I didn't end up doing that. Instead, I ventured around probably the least interesting areas closer to the bottom of the resort only to find something interesting that kept me there. By the time I felt like I exhausted the area and hopped onto the second and third ski lifts that would take me to the top, I had all of ten minutes to explore what was probably the most coveted spot at the resort.
I was okay with it though because I ended up having so much fun losing myself that afternoon and being so in sync with my camera and surroundings. I can take decent photos if I head out somewhere photogenic, but it can feel forced or just disappointing if it doesn't turn out as well as I had hoped. Rarely do I walk away from a single place feeling so satisfied with my shots. Especially those taken with a new-to-me camera. This day was the exception. It was like I was a kid again. It even felt healing.
Maybe this post is just an excuse to share some of these photos because they make me happy. Still, I sometimes wish I found more time for play in my life, particularly when I'm not on vacation. I can blame my work-life balance, the weather, the city I live in. But I think my rigid personality also plays a role, too.
