Maybe I don't have endometriosis. But this is what women's health is like
I lost about two weeks of my life recently, between laying in bed in agony and running back and forth between doctors to try to figure out what's wrong with me. Although I have experienced cyclic pelvic discomfort since December, I had never suffered that much before.
On Friday I visited a doctor I really trust. It was embarrassing; I was on the verge of tears with each word I uttered. Well, he didn't cut me open there to check, but he doesn't believe I have endometriosis. And while I realize the development of such conditions often doesn't make sense and comes down to luck, and I could very well have endo, I don't necessarily fit the profile: I've been consuming an anti-inflammatory diet for a decade, I'm very active, my life is relatively low-stress, and my family has no history of major gynecological problems.
Still, grappling with such pelvic pain for weeks was a living nightmare. I couldn't do anything, work and my hobbies included. I became a shell of a person. My pain became my personality. I really thought this became an everyday thing. My new "normal." Thankfully, all my discomfort dissipated when my period returned over the weekend. Unfortunately a Real Period, despite now taking a birth control pill to manage my symptoms. Still, I'll take bleeding over that pain any day.
Now I've nothing left to do but hope my body doesn't do anything else goofy while on this pill. I have three weeks until a big trip, and who knows what will happen if things go haywire while abroad. I can't afford to bleed day in, day out.
Besides this, I'm just frustrated. Generally, I think being a human being often sucks. Regardless of one's gender orientation and sex. But obviously it is way worse for certain people. Like women. I've spent a lot of time hating being a woman, at the very least in the physical sense.
I suffered from iron deficiency for years, severely for about 1.5 years. My body still defaults to borderline anemia unless I supplement with iron like crazy. And now this pelvic pain.
Anyway, I think what's most frustrating is not knowing the answer. What manifests as endometriosis could just as easily be an innocent cyst coming to the end of its lifespan. It could just be a fibroid. It could just be pelvic congestion syndrome. Who knows? I'll admit I have health anxiety sometimes, but I don't think I'm solely to blame.
It's frustrating to know that the answers to a lot of female problems will not be known for a long time. If ever. The dearth of research on these topics is disgraceful. Only in recent years have I noticed more women's health initiatives popping up. While encouraging, it's still a struggle. Plus I don't think we'll see much progress anytime soon, not just because research takes a long time. It's unfair that women have to live in uncertainty and unpredictability about their health. I don't blame scientists themselves, but I can't help but feel underserved. And I know I don't struggle anywhere near as much as other people who menstruate.