I am moving to Switzerland
A lot has happened to me since I started this blog almost two years ago, and most of it has been negative. Anyone who has read my blog might think I do not know how to celebrate anything.
The past four months in particular have been one of the darkest periods of my life. I have spent most of my days cooped up in my apartment hunting for jobs for longer than I would spend working an actual full-time job. I have felt lost in more ways than one: professionally, socially, and existentially. Despite my qualifications, my applications for hundreds of positions have been unfruitful, casting doubt upon all my adult life decisions. My best friend had a stroke earlier this year, and I feel I got nothing in return but abrasiveness for doing everything I could to care for her earlier this year. After another argument one month ago that has broken off our communication, I fear the lifelong friendship I had long envisioned is now on its last limbs. Finally, I had to be real with myself and decide to abandon my goal of moving to Germany.
It has felt like I am suffocating, and the world just glances at me and moves on like nothing is wrong. Trapped in this city where almost nothing and no one interests me anymore since moving here over seven years ago, I yearn for a metropolis. Instead, I am stuck in a place where everything feels stale. How much longer could I take this?
The only job in the United States for which I have been in the running has been so slow-going since I first underwent a screening interview in early September, only for the recruiter to tell me over a week ago that they should have an update for me soon regarding the first-round interview invitation. There are multiple rounds. At this rate they will select a candidate in a year. At least I was still being considered? I have not been jazzed about the position, but at least it would not be in a laboratory setting. And it is in New York. Despite the meh salary, I long told myself I would take this position if I somehow received an offer. What else could I do? But I still have not heard back.
Meanwhile, my doctoral advisor has been sending me listings for research positions. I just could not bring myself to apply for them. Not that post-doc positions are plentiful or easy to get now either. My heart left wet lab work ages ago. As badly as I need money and a change of scenery, I could not imagine myself uprooting my life to most likely move to an undesirable area on a crummy salary doing something that would not only make me miserable, but also pigeonhole me further into a space I no longer want to be. It would feel like betraying myself.
I went on a spontaneous trip one month ago because I was desperate to fill my social bucket. I am so glad I did that; it lifted my spirits enough to believe I could still move forward, even if at the whim of the universe. Tired after a delayed flight home, I stumbled into my apartment and dozed off almost immediately, dreading having to confront my reality again. I wanted to stay in California and forget it all.
I woke up earlier than usual the next morning, a bit disoriented from traveling. I groggily checked my email and stumbled upon an interview invitation for a dream opportunity in Switzerland. A temporary one, but a dream nonetheless that is long enough to help catapult me into the area in which I genuinely want to work. Puzzled, I actually almost forgot that I even applied for it.
It is crazy how quick and easy it all was. All I had to give was a single thirty-minute interview, no difficult questions. I received an offer two weeks ago, only days after introducing myself to the panelists. Needless to say, a lot has changed since then. Things are finally looking up. I am also making real connections with people in my desired field who have done nothing but encourage me to keep moving forward because my background is strong. As much as I would love to shout the details from the rooftops, I also rather not doxx myself.
The universe is funny. Switzerland has been on my mind for a few months, and I slowly came to the conclusion that it could be a better place for my career than my much beloved Germany. But getting an offer to go there in any capacity felt so distant, something I could consider only several years from now. Instead, it seemed more productive to buckle down and find something in the United States because I need a job as soon as possible.
But there it was, an offer from the only opportunity I applied for in Switzerland, less than three months after I published a post on how I changed my mind about one of my long-term goals.
There is a good chance I will return to the states afterwards, but who knows? If I love it there and can network well enough, maybe I could end up staying for a while. The unknown is scary, but now it feels exciting instead of hopeless.
As depressing as this unemployment spell has been, this opportunity is well worth the wait and every bit of agony. Even though I still have some months left here, I can finally relax, look for short-term work opportunities, and focus on logistics.
So, world, this is it. I am moving on. I cannot wait to start a new professional and social chapter in Switzerland. Onward and upward.
