Am I a poster child for privacy?
Last week I was staying with one of my close friends who is also very into digital privacy. We're both very similar, having not cut ourselves off from The Big Web entirely (me on Reddit, him on Instagram, both of us on Spotify) but still making sacrifices in our lives to protect our privacy online.
We were talking about ways we have supported privacy tools over the years and continue to do so. For those like my friend who works in tech, this could be time and effort spent enhancing these services, like operating a Tor bridge or relay. I, on the other hand, am not so savvy and therefore have periodically donated small sums to Signal over the years.
My friend has also happened to pick up some Tor merch at conferences. During our discussion, I thought it would be cool to get a Signal shirt, and to my delight my recent impulse purchase was delivered today.
I bought this shirt because, well, I thought it was funny, and I hadn't donated to Signal in a while.
I've been using Signal for years and rely on it to communicate via text and audio with most of my friends, with Telegram reserved for a select few contacts. To say that I support Signal would be an understatement.
I do sometimes feel like an imposter when it comes to privacy stuff though. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be so ridiculous as to question my worthiness of this shirt. I'm not trying to gatekeep privacy (or a t-shirt) from myself.
But this purchase is making me think. I've written some blog posts about privacy that seem to have resonated with others on Bear, but I can't help but wonder if I'm really doing enough. Honestly, I don't think I know what I'm talking about at all. There are bloggers here who understand the ins and outs of digital privacy, maybe even work in this space. Who am I to say anything about it?
I suspect these feelings stem from having not made any serious privacy-preserving steps in recent years, so it seems like I'm doing nothing when in reality I nevertheless could seem extreme to the average person.
Six years ago I decided to delete my social media accounts. That meant Facebook and Instagram (oh, how I loved sharing photos on there). Unfortunately, my Twitter account still exists because I don't remember the login credentials for it or the associated throwaway email address associated. I also turned into the weirdo who asked friends to suddenly start using Signal instead of SMS. I switched from a Samsung Galaxy (trash phone anyway) to a Google Pixel so that I could install CalyxOS (a topic for another blog post...). I migrated to Firefox from Chrome and installed all the essential privacy plug-ins. I am a loyal Mullvad VPN user.
As much as these decisions scared me, they made me feel like a poster child for privacy. At times.
I've taken several other, maybe quieter steps since then, too: My personal email address is with Posteo, not Gmail. I take notes with Standard Notes on my devices. I listen to podcasts on AntennaPod. I navigate new places using OSM, even begrudgingly when I learned it is woefully (and unsurprisingly) inadequate in northern Azerbaijan. When purchasing an e-reader, I steered myself away from Amazon, ultimately going with a Pocketbook (still adore this purchase every day). I edit all my photos using Darktable, an open-source alternative to Adobe Lightroom. I even learned how to make my first video project using kdenlive, a privacy-respecting video editor!
At the end of the day, I know it will never be enough. And I'm reckless in other ways: I'm still active in my favorite band's (RIP) Discord server because it is the only way to connect with the community and the band. I still stream all my beloved artists on Spotify when I know I should have dumped it for Bandcamp (probably still bad?) ages ago. I love paying for things with credit cards tied to my identify so that I can earn points to travel to cool places. Because of my job, I can't run away from Zoom, Slack, or Outlook. I used Bumble BFF to find my best friend.
Clearly, I'm not a poster child for privacy. Of course, I don't have to be to use these tools or to wear this shirt.
I don't know if I've done enough to say that privacy is a way of life for me. But maybe I've made it a big enough part of my life that considering it simply becomes routine. I'll research privacy-friendly alternatives to goods and services, and I'll choose them if I feel it doesn't intrude all that much on my life. It's not so startling anymore to spend a few minutes doing that, which is great for people like me who don't know the technical side super well.
Still, I know privacy isn't all or nothing. Or at least I hope it isn't. Plus, although this post is mostly concerned with the digital side of things, how you conduct yourself in real life matters, too. Given the content of a lot of my blog posts, I may seem like an oversharer. But people I see regularly have told me that I am closed off and don't share many details about my life. So, I like to think my aloof and mysterious persona help me out.
I often feel ridiculous going to the airport and being the only person who awkwardly requests to opt out of facial recognition, but I still insist. Maybe I'll feel ridiculous wearing this shirt too, but I'm still going to wear it. Better yet, it may positively rub off on a stranger, encouraging them to switch to Signal.